Trials & Tribulations

In efforts to avoid becoming too "heavy", I'll make every attempt at trying to bring in comic relief which is often times provided by the notorious 2 year old named - Skylar! Let's dive in! Ah, trials and tribulations - we all have them and at times we feel we're at our breaking point, right?! Well this week has been that kind of week for me! Somehow I'm being put through the ringer emotionally, physically, and spiritually! My life at times seems so out of control and I just can't seem to grab hold of it! Every day life introduces new stresses and each week provides more emptiness! Did I just say emptiness? Yes, I did. Even with the hectic life of raising two kids, planning meals, scheduling appointments, cleaning diapers - emptiness can still creep inside! Life suddenly is no longer full of surprises but rather "planned" or "rigid" and every day passes kind of like a blur! Aye! It's getting heavy - I apologize! I guess I'm writing this because today I became aware of something very interesting...that in my everyday planning and cleaning and mothering - God is always with me! And though my trials and tribulations may seem GINORMOUS, God is right there leading me through my "fiery furnace." If only I would call out to him, He is ready and willing to take my burdens for me and calm the raging sea! Today, as I rushed to get out of the house on my way to my bible study - I felt overwhelmed and frustrated! I had convinced myself that this study was not worth all of the hardships of just trying to make it there on time but alas, I found myself in the car - heading to church. I was still flustered as we pulled in the parking lot. Skylar excitedly yelled out that we're at church and I didn't even realize the importance of that! My sweet girl, who also had to go through all the craziness of the morning with mommy running around and Brycen crying the whole time - still had this joyful look on her face about getting to go to church! If we could all have a child's heart! We finally made it in and I found my seat next to my mom! It really wasn't until we split into our small groups that I realized I was right where I needed to be! I was with other women, going through the exact same circumstances as me and here we are asking God for help and direction! I'm having to learn within myself that I can plan and make to-do lists and schedules but how much time am I setting aside for God? After all, he's cleared his schedule for me! And my trials and tribulations are nothing compared to those in the Bible! But finding out that even the most Godly of women have found themselves curled up in the corner of the playroom, crying out "God help me" was eye-opening! My new commitment is to turn over the "ugly stuff" to God while enjoying moments like early this morning when Skylar climbed into bed and whispered softly "I love you mama." Or my husband thanking me for everything I do! I have a great life that God has provided and I need to start learning how to enjoy it and at it's fullest! So, as I'm in my "molding" process (from my study which I'll touch on more in a later post), I pray that God will open up my eyes to the joys around me! One more Skylar moment to leave with: before the craziness ensued, Skylar told me that she "hixed the hash light" (aka - fixed the flashlight)! I said "wow, you did huh?" (knowing full well that her daddy fixed it) and she responded "yes, I'm the best EVER!!!!!" You see, how can I complain when I have the best daughter EVER!!! ;-)